The Shadow of Desertion
Thoughts from Mark 14:50, 66–72
The rooster crowed, awakening the day, as well as Peter’s realization of what he had done. Just hours before, he had been sitting at the table with Jesus face to face, swearing his allegiance. When Jesus predicted Peter’s betrayal, Peter boldly claimed he would rather die with Jesus than deny him. After all, Peter had spent the past three years living alongside of Jesus — he was one of Jesus’ constant companions and closest confidants. There wasn’t a chance he would deny knowing his Lord!
And yet… The moment arrived. Jesus was betrayed and taken away to be brutally tortured and murdered. The kingdom Peter imagined Jesus bringing to earth seemed to be crumbling and I’m sure Peter worried his own life was at stake. So he did the only thing that made sense to him in the moment. He fled and forsook any association with Jesus, just as Jesus said would happen before the rooster crowed twice. I imagine adrenaline took over as it does in stressful situations — I think it must have been an out of body experience to have his whole life upended in a matter of hours. The conversation over dinner with Jesus likely wasn’t even on Peter’s radar… until he heard that second crow.
In that moment, Peter was forced to stare down his inevitable humanity. There was no choice but to face the fact that he, one of Jesus’ most vocal and brazen supporters, was not immune to fear. In the moments where it mattered most, he couldn’t even own up to knowing Jesus, much less being a disciple. This realization was too great a burden to bear and Peter broke down and wept.
Many of us have likely had similar, albeit less dramatic moments. Moments where we were smacked in the face with our own imperfections, fears, or failures. Moments where we failed to live out the mission Jesus called us to. It is painful to realize how we too have deserted Jesus, often repeatedly. We wonder why he ever would have chosen us.
For some reason, he did choose us. He chose us like he chose Peter, knowing in advance the many ways we would fail him. He chose us being fully aware of the price he would pay on the cross for us to access him. Jesus walked through the agonizing shadow of desertion, not only for Peter’s sake, but for you and I’s as well.
Prayer
Oh forgiving God, we thank you for making a way for us to be seen as righteous in your eyes, despite our countless failures. We confess the many ways in which we have deserted you, in thought and deed. Turn our hearts back to you once again. Amen.
