Church Abuse: How Long, Oh Lord?

If you are blissfully unaware of what has been happening in the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) lately, a quick Google search will clear it up for you. America’s predominant evangelical denomination has been found to cover up and protect countless cases of abuse; I say countless, because for every instance counted in the 205 page report from an independent investigation, I am sure there is one unreported.

I wasn’t going to write about this. It felt too raw, and in some ways, still feels too raw. It seemed too challenging, given the personal relationship and respect I have for people who claim the denomination as their own today.

The SBC raised me. This is not an exaggeration. Almost every single early childhood memory is tied up within the doors of its churches. My first dozen or so sinner’s prayers prayed there. This is the denomination who taught me a high value of scripture, the value of life in community, and the ministry of a casserole delivered to someone’s door.

It was also the denomination who taught me a very strict code to follow in order to earn belonging. It taught be how, as a woman, my body was mostly a problem. It taught be a visceral fear of hell (hence the sinner’s prayer on repeat, just to be sure).

I struggle writing the hard things about this upbringing, because I am not ungrateful. There is so much love for the people and churches who raised me, especially my parents. As I mentioned, many people I greatly respect are still a part of the SBC, which makes this even harder.

But I cannot excuse the horror and deep pain I feel watching a denomination I dearly loved systemically act in a way inconsistent with Jesus. These are the people who were calling out Target for “Gender neutral restrooms” creating an unsafe place for children, all while their children were in fact unsafe within the walls of their churches. If we are unwilling to unwaveringly call out our own sin, why are we comfortable with calling out perceived sins in others?

If I am going to be really honest, this also hits home for me because it isn’t hypothetical. I have been a part of many churches growing up, and one of them was a church who protected an abuser. I cannot even wrap my mind about the message the victims must have to work through. We are sending them the message that their safety is not as important as this leader’s position. For a church tasked with teaching people their inherent goodness and dignity as image-bearers of God, this is inexcusable.

The time is up, church. It is time for the churches who claim to be against these evils to get loud. Get loud with child safety policies. Get loud with written policies on reporting abuse to law enforcement. And if you are in the SBC, it’s time to get really loud to the denomination and let them know if they can’t start pruning the evil at hand, you will take yourselves and your dollars elsewhere.

I thought about quoting Matthew 7:21–23 here, but it felt a bit harsh. So I will say this instead: if you are someone who has experienced abuse at the hands of the church, I am so deeply sorry. You endured a horrific evil, and your abusers do not represent Jesus. I pray for your healing, your restoration, and that one day your abusers might be held accountable. You are more beloved than you can imagine.

*The SBC recently held their annual meeting where they voted in favor of abuse reform. These changes are coming far too late and feel inadequate, but I pray they will create meaningful change.